{debacle part ii}

I quit. Then everyone quits. Then the school withdraws. End of story. My God. It wasn't supposed to be that way. They should've gone on.

(long live the ink}

I wrote this almost 4 years ago:

---

You've been a great friend
So this I wanted to send
To you, so you could know
What I think, before I go

Please spare a few minutes
And read this for me
Life, you have to live it
So open your eyes and see

Look around, and hear the sounds
Sniff the air, I have found
That in life you need a direction
You can't just switch channels like you watch television

I advise you, don't feel depressed
'Cause it'll ruin all the fun, and the fun will be less
'Cause life is a pen, we're the hand I think
Write as much as you can, long live the ink

Long live you, and I hope you are blessed
'Cause in life there are challenges, and so many tests
So cheer up, be happy, and choose the right way
I hope you reach your destination by the end of the day

How can I love someone if I don't love myself?
I cannot leave her alone by her own self
I am sorry for anything wrong I've done to you
And for all the small things that I've said just to diss you

Thank you.

---

Now, looking back at it, I wish I hadn't written that last part then. The one starting with "How can I love...". Haha

{debacle}

I decided to withdraw from the school's debate team yesterday. I then decided to confirm this with Mr. Gavaghan, debate coach, this morning. I had reasons laid out in my head should he have asked. I didn't need to use them:

The debate team (and its apprentices) had a meeting at breaktime this morning. It was then that Gav poised us all the question: To go ahead with participation in the debate competition or to just "can it", in his own words - the underlying reason being a) insufficient preparation time and b) Gav was not pleased that the debate topics came around that late (he got them only last night).

I took the opportunity to express my intention to personally withdraw, but suggested that the rest of the team go ahead with a replacement in my place. The other debaters agreed to go ahead with it. All seemed fine.

However, afterwards, two other debaters expressed to me their intention to quit as well, citing their unwillingness to miss classes - exactly my own personal reason. I believe my quitting had a direct knock-on effect on these two comrades.

With too many positions in the team vacant, and not enough people willing to fill in, and with such a time constraint, the decision was made: SMSA would pull out of this year's competition.

It's a shame, yeah, admittedly. But it was "dying with dignity", rather than dragging a rag-tag team along to MD and then being thrashed by the likes of MS and PTEB, among others. Personally it is disappointing that things had to end this way, and even more so disappointing that it all seemed to have resulted from my pulling out. I wanted more than anything for a strong team from SMSA to have participated, and hopefully someone from SMSA would be selected for Bridge and possibly World's sometime in the future.

Sigh.

{across time and space}

I've often wanted to teach for a living. Imagine being an A' Level Physics tutor...

Teaching the same things to each incoming batch of students... Reading science and current issues magazines in free time... Having coffee (and spilling it) over ruddy student homework... Trying to explain each and everything seen, heard or felt using physics... Watching Mythbusters too so that you're not outsmarted by your students?? Haha...

Not much money in it, though. But it's a nice alternative after having had a fast-paced job the first 20 years of your career.

{the long road}

It's almost time for the new Pre-U1s to start sixth-form in SMSA. Meaning that we've got one major thing left ahead: their orientation. And then after that, though still being MPPs 'til April, we've all but become normal students, doing the normal things:

Classes. Homework. Tests. And of course, exams.

It doesn't seem all too much, considering the juggling act we've been doing for most of last year and this, through AS and all. Oh, I can't wait to be a normal student again. To be just like everyone else, and standing out not by virtue of the colour of my trousers but by the content of my character. And to unburdened by all the 'other things' that the school more than loves to pass to us.

Not that we do it unwillingly, but again, the 'days in pink' have been a testing time.

{the armor of integrity}

Retired General Charles C. Krulak, former Commandant of the United States Marine Corps gave this speech at The Joint Services Conference on Professional Ethics in January of 2000:

"We study and we discuss ethical principles because it serves to strengthen and validate our own inner value system. It gives direction to what I call our moral compass. It is the understanding of ethics that becomes the foundation upon which we can deliberately commit to inviolate principles. It becomes the basis of what we are . . . of what we include in our character. Based on it, we commit to doing what is right. We expect such commitment from our leaders. But most importantly, we must demand it of ourselves.

Sound morals and ethical behavior cannot be established of created in a day, a semester … or a year. They must be institutionalized our character over time. They must become a way of life. They go beyond our individual services and beyond our ranks or positions. They cut to the heart and soul of who we are and what we are and what we must be: men and women of character.

They arm us for the challenges to come and impart to us a sense of wholeness. They unite us in the calling we now know as the profession of arms. Of all the moral and ethical guideposts that we have been brought up to recognize, the one that, for me, stands above the rest. The one that I have kept in the forefront of my mind . . . is integrity. It is my ethical and personal touchstone. Integrity, as we know it today, stands for soundness of principle and character – uprightness-honesty. Yet there is more. Integrity is also an ideal. A goal to strive for. And for a man or woman to "walk in their integrity" is to require constant discipline and usage. The word integrity itself is a martial word that comes to us from an ancient Roman army. Tradition during the time of the twelve Caesars, the Roman army would conduct morning inspections. As the inspecting Centurion would come in front of each Legionnaire, the soldier would strike with his right fist the armor breastplate that covered his heart. The armor had to be strongest there in order to protect the heart from the sword thrusts and from arrow strikes. As the soldier struck his armor, he would shout "INTEGRITAS," which in Latin means material wholeness, completeness and entirety. The inspecting Centurion would listen closely for this affirmation and also for the ring that well kept armor would give off. Satisfied that the armor was sound and that the soldier beneath it was protected, he would move on to the next man.

At about the same time, the Praetorians or imperial bodyguard were ascending into power and influence. Drawn from the best "politically correct" soldiers of the legions, they received the finest equipment and armor. They no longer had to shout "integritas" to signify that their armor was sound. Instead, as they struck their breastplate, they would shout "Hail Caesar," to signify that their heart belonged to the imperial personage – not to their unit – not to an institution – not to a code of ideals. They armored themselves to serve the cause of a single man.

A century passed and the rift between the legion and the imperial bodyguard and its excesses grew larger. To signify the difference between the two organizations, the legionnaire, upon striking his armor would no longer shout "INTEGRITAS," but instead would shout "INTEGER." Integer means undiminished-complete-perfect. It not only indicated that the armor was sound, it also indicated that the soldier wearing the armor was sound of character. He was complete in his integrity. His heart was in the right place. His standards and morals were high. He was not associated with the immoral conduct that was rapidly becoming the signature of the Praetorian Guards.

The armor of integrity continued to serve the Legion well for over four centuries. They held the line against the marauding Goths and Vandals. But by 383 AD, the social decline that infected the Republic and the Praetorian Guard had its effects upon the Legion. As a 4^th Century Roman general wrote, "When, because of negligence and laziness, parade ground drills were abandoned, the customary armor began to feel heavy since the soldiers rarely, if ever, wore it. Therefore, the first asked the Emperor to set aside the breastplates and mail. Then the helmets. So our soldiers fought the Goths without any protection for the heart and head and were often beaten by archers. Although there were many disasters, which lead to the loss of great cities, no one tried to restore the armor to the armor to the infantry. They took their armor off, and when the armor came off, so too came their integrity." It was only a matter of a few years until the legion rotted from within and was unable to hold the frontiers. The barbarians were at the gates.

Integrity. It is the combination of the words, "integritas" and "integer." It refers to the putting on of armor, of building a completeness-a wholeness-a wholeness in character. How appropriate that the word integrity is a derivative or two words describing the character of a member of the profession of arms. The military has a tradition of producing great leaders that possess the highest ethical standards and integrity. It produces men and women of character. Character that allows them to deal ethically with the challenges of today and to make conscious decisions about how they will approach tomorrow. However, as I mentioned earlier, this is not done instantly. It requires that integrity becomes a way of life. It must be woven into the fabric of our soul, just as was true in days of imperial Rome. You either walk in your integrity daily, or you take off the armor of the "integer" and leave your heart and soul exposed…open to attack.

My challenge to you is simple be often very difficult. Wear your armor of integrity. Take full measure of its weight. Find comfort in its protection. Do not become lax and always, always, remember that on one can take your integrity from you. You and only you can give it away.

The biblical book of practical ethics, better known as the book of proverbs, sums it up very nicely. "The integrity of the upright shall guide them, but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them." [Proverbs 11:3]

Thank you."

{nbasifsafbafla}

I affirm that for a student, academics comes first before anything else. We all understand that.

But it is terribly upsetting that the hard-working students who go out of their way and give time and effort in service are put down and disregarded instead of being appreciated and thanked.