{for now}

There's good news and bad news - the bad news is that I have just received a rejection letter from a certain university.

The good news is:
1) I have offers from two other universities
2) I am waiting for a reply from another good (great!) university
3) I am on a 10-day holiday to the UK and Singapore and I'm enjoying it!!

{paint check!}

That's me in front, and Royden behind. My father outside. I think we lost this one game hehe.

{be mine}

Alhamdulillah, I just sat for my last 'A' level paper today. I'm done now. Now I can:
1) Read all the books I've been meaning to read
2) Watch all the movies I've been meaning to watch/re-watch
3) Tidy up my room
4) Drink all the (fresh) coffee I like

Yeah!!

{as i go}

President-elect of the United States of America.. Mr. Barack Hussein Obama. Why are we taking notice? I think due to the fact that.. the office of the President of the United States is, in effect, the office of the most powerful person on earth.

{snake eyes watching you}

Last week, my father and I were at a 7-11 store. While I was standing in line to pay, my father was still going up and down the rows of shelves apparently looking for something. He started looking carefully at the items near the counter.. I asked him what it was he was looking for. When he told me, I burst out laughing:

You don't get chewing gum in Singapore!! :D

{i keep thinking about you}

Wherever I go and whatever I do

{i just miss you}

That's all

{slide}

I just heard on the radio that Stephen Hawking intends to retire as the Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at the University of Cambridge, a professorship held before by Sir Isaac Newton, Charles Babbage and Paul Dirac (though not together at once).

I'm flying off insyaAllah tomorrow morning to Singapore for an interview scheduled for Monday afternoon.

{futures}

In life we face challenges. Some people feel tested once in a blue moon, while others undergo trials everyday. But as they say, "What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger".

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do."

- Eleanor Roosevelt, US diplomat & reformer (1884-1962)

{eid mubarak}

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI
MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN

SEMOGA AMALAN KITANI SEMUA DI BULAN RAMADHAN YANG TELAH LALU DITERIMA OLEH ALLAH SUBHANAHU WA TA'ALA JUA
AMIN

=)

{sweetness}

I try to wash my car every week. Most times I succeed, but it has occured once that I didn't do it for almost a month. When I clean my car, I insist on doing both its inside and out. I almost always do it alone, and I've never brought it somewhere else and paid to have it cleaned. Not that I love my money so much, but we always clean our own cars.

First, I take out a cloth which I keep in the boot and use it to wipe all interior surfaces: dashboard, sides, etc. After that, I take out the foot mats and 'rampak' them (give me the word!). I hoover the seats and the car floor, all the time with loud music coming from the car stereo. After that, I put the mats back in.

I then switch the stereo off, close all the doors and raise the wipers. Sorry conservationists, a lot of us still use the garden hose when washing the car and when gardening, myself included. I give the car a bit of a shower, whilst removing any loose dirt and grime with my hands. Then comes the sponge and shampoo. Then I rinse the shampoo off, and wipe the car dry with what do you call it? That absorbent material that you use to wipe the car dry. Haha

If I 'chill-chill' then I'll have it done in an hour. If I work hard at it, hmm.. The whole thing might probably take between half an hour to 45 minutes. I know, slow. I then put the wipers back down and move the car back into the garage. And oh, I do the wheels as well and sometimes after the car has dried I do the tyres too. You know, shine them up.

{if you don't, you don't}

Today I went to the Post Office in KB to mail some Raya cards. One I mailed to Oman, and 3 here in KB. So what I did when Nabih and I reached there was we went inside to the counter. The lady there asked where the cards were to, and weighed them. She charged them accordingly.

The one to Oman cost me $2.70 in stamps, while the ones to inside Brunei 30 cents each. I received a card last week from Bandar which had a 20 cents stamp on it; maybe my cards were heavy to explain the extra 10 cents.

We met Mr. Roland Couzens (my brother's Chemistry tutor who I am familiar with myself) while I was licking my stamps (good or bad??). After that I put the envelopes into their proper boxes outside the Post Office.

Let's see which card arrives first...

{lucky denver mint}

I thought I'd share my morning. So, this morning my father asked me to sort out car insurance and road tax for two of his cars. So, off we went in the Previa to the IBB bank in Seria at 9am to sort out the insurance. Ahmad and I were there for probably half an hour before we were done. On the way back home, we bought (expensive) tomatoes at Supa Save.

Back home, I got into the Land Cruiser while Ahmad sped off with the Previa. He obviously got the the Land Transport Department in KB first. I parked in the wrong place, near where you sort out your licences, while I should've parked near the other office, where you renew your road tax. So I had to walk back to the car and move it.

We went in ... and took the wrong number. Both the Previa and the Land Cruiser are about 12 years old or so now and so you need to have them inspected before you get to renew their road taxes. So after needlessly waiting for about a quarter of an hour, we took the number for inspections and were served almost immediately. I met Rodman Tan, our O-level Biology tutor there. He happened to know how things work ... he came after us but left before! So much for a novice like me.

Hj. Tinggal, the man who examined me for my driving licence, quickly inspected both our cars and gave them the good-to-go. So we went back in and waited for I don't know how many minutes before I got to finish everything. On the way back I picked up Shu'aib from his school (my school too) and there was 3 hours of my morning gone. Maybe 2 and a half had we read instructions more carefully.

Oh and I have no pics but I wish I had.

{lear}

Travis Barker...plane...crash???

{LHC}

From BBC:

Hadron Collider halted for months

Please turn on JavaScript. Media requires JavaScript to play.

David Shukman heads deep underground to take a look at the LHC's tunnel

The Large Hadron Collider near Geneva will be out of action for at least two months, the European Organization for Nuclear Research (Cern) says.

Part of the giant physics experiment was turned off for the weekend while engineers probed a magnet failure.

But a Cern spokesman said damage to the £3.6bn ($6.6bn) particle accelerator was worse than anticipated.

The LHC is built to smash protons together at huge speeds, recreating conditions moments after the Big Bang.

Scientists hope it will shed light on fundamental questions in physics.

Section damaged

On Friday, a failure, known as a quench, caused around 100 of the LHC's super-cooled magnets to heat up by as much as 100C.

The fire brigade were called out after a tonne of liquid helium leaked into the tunnel at Cern, near Geneva.

Cern spokesman James Gillies said on Saturday that the sector that was damaged would have to be warmed up well above absolute zero so that repairs could be made.

While he said there was never any danger to the public, Mr Gillies admitted that the breakdown would be costly.

He said: "A full investigation is still under way but the most likely cause seems to be a faulty electrical connection between two of the magnets which probably melted, leading to a mechanical failure.

"We're investigating and we can't really say more than that now.

"But we do know that we will have to warm the machine up, make the repair, cool it down, and that's what brings you to two months of downtime for the LHC."

Setback

The first beams were fired successfully around the accelerator's 27km (16.7 miles) underground ring over a week ago.

The crucial next step is to collide those beams head on. However, the fault appears to have ruled out any chance of these experiments taking place for the next two months at least.

The quench occurred during final testing of the last of the LHC's electrical circuits to be commissioned.

At 1127 (0927 GMT) on Friday, the LHC's online logbook recorded a quench in sector 3-4 of the accelerator, which lies between the Alice and CMS detectors.

The entry stated that helium had been lost to the tunnel and that vacuum conditions had also been lost.

The superconducting magnets in the LHC must be supercooled to 1.9 kelvin above absolute zero, to allow them to steer particle beams around the circuit.

As a result of the quench, the temperature of about 100 of the magnets in the machine's final sector rose by around 100C.

The setback came just a day after the LHC's beam was restored after engineers replaced a faulty transformer that had hindered progress for much of the past week.

{i'm coming home}

I've learnt that to have peace of mind, don't bother pleasing everyone and that's saying don't assume all the people you come across will agree with you. There will be, until the end of the world, people who will come at your throat for what you stand for and believe in, but that's life.

{fire at will}

I forgot what I wanted to say but I'm using Google Chrome these days.

{dreamer}

I feel very happy. After a month or so of toil and struggle, my personal statement is good to go. My GP tutor made me edit it twice, while Mrs. Yapp of Careers made me do it I think three times? Myself, I think 50 times XD. I kept going back to it every afternoon or two, changing bits here and there, adding things, taking away things..and now it's done!

Had to do it early cos I have a Sept 20 deadline..anyway, it's a great feeling having it off your shoulders - it was quite a bit of tension cos this goes a long way..all the way to uni hopefully. It's basically the only part of your application you really have control over. Thanks Mr. Gavaghan and Mrs. Yapp.

{tagged...again}

01. Would you fart inside an elevator?
Come on.. I'd do it anywhere if I had to

02. What will you do if the person you like doesn't like you back?
I'd try to move on.

03. Miss Piggy + Kermit the Frog = OTP?
Gobble gobble gobble???

04. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
I don't know what lies ahead of me. That's up to God. But I have plans

05. What's your ideal lover like?
Kind.. Caring.. Understanding.. Oh there's a lot to this

06. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone else?
Being loved

07. If the person you like does not accept you, would you continue to wait for them to change their feelings?
It all depends on how much I'm after that person and how close I am to getting her

08. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Why all the romance questions? Leave it at that lah

09. Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently?
Tension makes me unhappy. Uni applications

10. What do you want most in life?
An excellent education, good job, great life with family..and heaven

11. Is being tagged fun?
Depends on the questions. Generally it's fun when you get all these responses from readers :D

12. If you find out that your best friend is going out with your boyfriend/girlfriend, how would you react?
Load my guns..no lah. I'd confront my girlfriend

13. Who is currently the most important person to you?
Family..in the general sense

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
I cannot recall not having a conversation with Seng Yee without laughing. And I cannot recall going to her blog without laughing as well :)

15. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
Single and rich. Cos who said I couldn't marry afterwards? Haha

16. Would you rather be a bum or be a busy person?
Busy person. Who would say bum?

17. Would you give your all in a relationship?
If it's a stable one

18. Define LOVE.
Let me try: "A strong feeling of affection with which the lover will give a lot for the loved."

19. Milk chocolate, white chocolate or dark chocolate?
I'd say milk but I won't turn down the others

20. If you played a prank on someone and he/she fell for the trick, what would you do?
I would laugh!

I tag no one cos everyone's done with tagging XD

{memory}

Today was a very memorable day for me.

{hey hey hey goodbye}

The world seemed so bright.. I had just found out that I got a A's for both my Chemistry and Mathematics (Maths I took again 'cause I got a B for my Mechanics paper last November).

Sekali, it wasn't so bright - my O-level BM.. again, B! For the third time..but I don't know yet whether it's a B3 or B4. Oh well, but all the same, alhamdulillah.

{sierra oscar sierra}

My 90th post. The reason I'm not publishing much these days is because I write stuff then just save it on the computer. It's just for me, it's more personal that way.. so what comes out on this blog is what is public, like it says at the top. Not very interesting eh? Well I guess so..I was thinking about this tonight and I imagined what this place would look like after 10 years if I pour out my life to it.

But don't worry, this doesn't change anything really. This place will still be like it was before, just a bit more tiresome to read 'cause there are no pics.

{tagged ii}

I was tagged by Wei Han, Matul (well yeah..) as well as Fui Ying:

Rules
. State 15 weird things/ habits/ little known facts about yourself
. The 10 people I tag are to then to follow my footsteps and write their own 15 weird things/habits and little known facts.
. No tag backs

I can't really think of the things this tagging business wants me to put down, but here goes...very randomly, and without thought
1) I wash my car once a week, inside and out..takes an hour.
2) I sleep alone in a double bed.
3) I always switch back to station number one on the car radio before I switch it off.
4) When stacking, Physics is always on top, then Chemistry, then Bio at the bottom.
5) I shave using an old-style razor (not the modern, disposable ones).
6) I get my hair cut the first Sunday of every Gregorian month.
7) I used to play cricket at Pandan 8.
8) I am very worried about my name (exams - for Nov last year Muhd, June this year Muhammad, Nov this year Muhd again).
9) I can count to ten in French too.
10) I can count to five in Chinese.
11) I can count to seven in Arabic.
12) I genuinely drink coffee.
13) I, apparently, stare.
14) I know what the words for red, blue, black, yes, thank you, hello, the, no, goodbye and France are in French.
15) I know what 'yes' and 'my love' is in Spanish.

I now tag...just 5 people...
- Jeremy
- Liza
- Nabih
- Azamri
- Rahim Nitro
And I don't care if they've been tagged or not

{make a wish}

The Godfather's 3 Laws of True Love are as follows:

1) For every man, regardless of race, religion or colour, is destined to a true love.

2) The fundamental principles of true love are governed by Shakespeare's Sonnet 116.

3) True love is blind.

With permission.

{i'll show you everything}

Michael Phelps wins his 8th gold medal of this Games and the 14th Olympic gold of his career - he's now the Olympian with the most golds in one Games as well as the most golds in a career, so far.

And what is it I've heard about a section of Jalan Tengah (road to Seria down the middle - not bypass) being closed...for 7 months? Or 9 months? Kalau org kn buat anak, beranak sudah tu.

And...I'll sort my being 'tagged' later!

{against the wall}

Usain Bolt of Jamaica wins the men's 100m final in 9.69s, a world record - and he was celebrating even before the finish line! I had just gotten home from a friend's and there it was on the telly - these guys lining up on the start line. And then go! They had started and 10s later, it was over.

{under the sunlight}

The past two weeks have kicked me into high gear. Ever since that phone call and the interview that followed shortly, I've come to realise that I lack in certain areas of study. I don't know things. I can't answer questions. I doubt myself sometimes, but other times, the encouragement of people around me make me have firm belief in myself and what I can do. I sound insecure? Maybe I am, but only recently. I used to think that I could do it all, that I could sail through everything. I still think I can manage, but it has to be done wholeheartedly. Right now my targets are, somewhat involuntarily, high. But similar to what I had written in a blog post a couple of months ago, aim high..full of heart..try to reach it..if you fail, you'll be in a place you'd never even reach if you had aimed for just enough. So that's what I'm doing. It's crazy. My fallback options are equivalent to other people's loftiest dreams. I wouldn't imagine doing this without all the support that I get. People who believe in me, who I guess saw what potential I had/have, when I don't even believe in myself. But now I do..now I do

{can i not have a title?}

So here I am, past midnight and wanting to blog. I had the opportunity tonight to watch The Dark Knight which was released half a decade ago (exaggeration). Alright, everyone's watched it. And now I can say, so have I.. Hahaha

So anyway, I had high expectations right from the start, seeing how many overwhelmingly positive reviews the movie has gotten. I remember me and my friend talking about it even last year - imagine the hype. And basically everyone has basically either said it's a great watch or it's the best superhero movie ever. The Brunei Times' movie review (which comes out once a week I guess) gave it a 9/10 - not a rating given very often. So.. naturally when you have a best friend who says it's a really good movie and your interests are both much alike, you'd think the movie would really suit you too.

So now you'd expect me to say I disagree with all of it and that the movie was bad. No, I won't say that. I'll say it was good, but not great. It came across to me just like most other movies. Gasp now. Point your index finger. How could I? I admit it's probably bad taste. I almost always go against public opinion and the movie reviews. Not to mention that I was trying to ignore my bladder for the latter half of the movie.

On the plus side, I really liked the dialogues in The Dark Knight. You could feel that there was meaning in the conversations, unlike in other movies where the characters like, talk nonsense. I think it was philosophic. And I particularly liked Alfred, and all the scenes with the high-tech stuff in it. At the end of it all, for me, I want to come away from movies feeling empowered, no matter if it was a comedy or an action film. And I guess I came away empowered today.

{1128}

Hey all.. So here I am again, telling another story of how things are today. I feel empowered all the more often these days. I think the biggest naysayer in my life is myself. Why's that? When everyone else is telling me that I can make it, that there's probably no one else who could do it better. Maybe it's because it's natural for you to doubt yourself - that's why there are so many self-help books out there that try to teach you how to think positively. Or maybe it's because I'm a pessimistic person. I've always answered "half-empty" in response to the half-glass of milk/water/whatever question. I've got people telling me that I think too much. That I worry too much. I admit that's true. It's created unneccessary stress for myself at the wrong times. But it has also served me well throughout the years. It has surfaced in the form of paying attention to detail. Well if you ask me, paying attention to detail and thinking too much come together. People who are into detail think a lot, right? But most people aren't so extreme in thinking, I think. I think about everything (most things). I go over events in my head. I visualise processes, decisions and consequences.. Okay, back to tadi: paying attention to detail has helped me get good grades. Most people just breeze over their notes. Those that don't do this tend to focus too much on one topic or the other. This is connected to study method/skill but do you get the idea? It's also connected to knowing what you should know for the exam, and all this stuff comes under a completely different subject but the idea is that when you pay attention to detail and you remember all the little bits and pieces that other people just breeze over, then you can answer those questions that require knowledge of these little bits and pieces.. You might say my theory is all made-up, well yeah, I never did any research on this so I made it up. But it feels kinda true you know. And yeah another good thing about paying attention to detail is that you've got all this trivia in your head. Like when you listen to conversations or read the paper or hear the news or watch the news then you pick up all this stuff about how whites will be a minority in America in 2040 or smth like that. Yes, I heard that on the news. Okay, it is news. It's not trivia. But just imagine it is trivia. Then you can say to yourself, hey, I know a lot of trivia about the world today and it makes you feel wealthy of knowledge even though you might never be tested for it. So this post was mainly about how I felt about something and I can hardly understand half of what I just typed. But nevermind. I feel empowered. That's the most important thing. I know I can pull through. Not pull through as in C C Cs, 'cause I'm aiming for higher. I know I can pull through with A A A a. 'Cause I've got the desire. And the discipline. And I will prevail. Insya-Allah. I will do my utmost best, and I won't worry nor will I look back. I might have been thinking and worrying too much before, but not now. I'm just focused on what's ahead. I'm doing my part. The rest is in His hands.

{hmm what you say...}

We went to public library today in KB (and yesterday as well, and the day before, and for many days now). We like going to the one in KB 'cause it's cosier and warmer and we know the staff (unlike the yellow one in Pandan). So Hadi was listening to my iPod. And he came across the song "Jangan Gila Dong" which he repeated guess how many - 8 times! We could count 'cause the volume was so loud it was like he was playing the song for the rest of us!

{hold it by the hand}

I don't feel so good, I don't know why..I hope I feel better in a bit. Maybe it's just the stress of high level things.

As for today's paper, I'm not telling anyone anything about it until all the others have taken it as well. Integrity yo.

This afternoon insyaAllah am sitting for an interview for the Sultan's Scholarship in Bandar. Pray that everything goes well for me.

{closer}

How cool can cool be yo?? I believe one door has already been opened - another 2 more ahead. Now down the corridor I stride. Ready, armed.

You might think what the? What are you talking about?!?

Ask me lah. Not here. In person or online. Why not here? 'Cause I don't feel so. Better I converse with you lah. But it's a U-turn man. 180 degrees turn. Not quite there yet, but getting closer. As I said, one door open wide. Two more waiting. I have the key - but it's rusty. I need to get it cleaned.

Almost there. Almost there. Keep it up.

{good to go}

Hey. I'm in the middle of organic chemistry but I felt I wanted to blog. About nothing. Haha.. Qualifying exams start this Thursday. Looking back at it, it's amazing how fast time passes. I was watching the video they made for Best Student Award in April of last year (our 1st MPP task!) where they went to Charlene Bong's (the legend) place and interviewed her. And.. in that video she also mentioned like how fast sixth form went by. For me personally, it only seems like yesterday that I went through orientation. I really liked it, the music and running around and all but apparently most of my colleagues don't feel the same way. Well I guess I was just trying to assimilate into SMSA then so I just took it all in. You know what I mean? Like just make yourself like it 'cause you're already there. That should be applied to school. I don't want to go to a place for 6 or 7 hours a day and not enjoy the process. Well, it's been what - almost 4 months since I left pink behind - meaning the MPP and I finally found that I have all the time in the world that I need for my studies. Not all the time in the world lah, but forgive me for exaggerating. 'Cause when I was caught up in the MPP job I always managed to find time for studies and stuff, although my social life wasn't too good. I was still --- then and was doing no exercise, sleeping past midnight was usual. So during that period, time really flew by. Like right now, when I recall back to say, July last year I don't remember anything. How could I have lived last year without remembering anything? It's when you live high on --- homework and adrenaline. Oh yeah there was a lot of homework. My good friend Hadi says it averages 2 hours a day? Well yesterday was quite a memorable day for me 'cause it was the day I finished the last Mathematics homework of this 'A' Level course. That was..wow.. So the next 3-4 weeks will insyaAllah be qualifying exams and then right after that puasa..Most probably a week or two after Raya the real 'A' Levels will come in.. That is fast. Ah now that I drive, I might go for sembahyang tarawih at school. Yes they do it there! Otherwise, it'll be at the Surau Mumong as usual. These days I'm cutting down on coffee, well I just drink it at school to help me with the afternoon classes. And I'm sleeping early. I aim for 10.30, in fact before that every day. But yeah sometimes still I stretch up to midnight when there's work to be done. I think now I'll just finish this bit of organic chemistry then go to sleep. Hope you guys and girls liked my recent flurry of posts. :)

{today becomes your day}

Life is beautiful
Only if you open your eyes to see
What good there is in life
What good can there be?

It is but a vicious cycle
A cycle of ups and downs
It's not that you must fall
It's how you turn things around

For in life things may not
Always go your way
The most important thing is that
Today becomes your day

Believe that you can make it
Believe it's there for you
Believe it's there for taking
By a winner in the making

Ayyub
2nd Aug 2008.

{the bird with feathers}

Hey again. So it's my third post actually for today, and by no means is that a bad thing. Unless of course, I'm wasting my time. But I don't think so. So.. I'm having a very bad running nose and my eyes are watery. Now, what I want to include in this blog post are the little bits and pieces that have happened these past few days. Haha!

On Tuesday, during our afternoon Physics class, our tutor Mr. Nyiau asked us whether he had told us "the bird story". So some of us were like, "no, not yet" but some others were like "what bird?". Ha-ha. So he said, "bird with feathers" - just to clear things. So when he had confirmed he had not yet told us the story, he began to tell it:

(More or less lah ah this one..in passive form.)

There were 2 bright fellas who had the opportunity to travel to Japan. So they went to Japan with the intention of seeing a wise old man to test him.

So off they went, first by plane, then by bullet train, and then by taxi. Then they had to travel by foot through the forest and up the mountain where the old man lived.

So when they reached the old man's place, they decided between them as to how they would test the old man.

One fella said to the other "we should catch a bird". The other agreed and so they caught a bird. They then called out for the old man.

"Old man, old man, well you are the most intelligent person on the face of this earth. We have but a simple question for you." One of the fellas was holding by the neck the bird they had just caught. They asked the old man, "Is this bird dead or alive?" The old man called back out:

"Young man, young man, I know what you two are up to. If I say that the bird is alive, you'll just twist its neck and it'll be dead. But if I say that it's dead, then you'll just let it go and it'll fly away."

The 2 fellas got caught by the old man's foresight. The old man continued,

"So you see, the decision is in your hands. It's not for me to decide. You decide."

-----

Philosophy.. Oh and I have got a new phone. It actually used to be my father's phone (not dad). So now, after only exactly 2 months, he's got guess what? Another brand new one! A Nokia smth smth. So naturally (ehem) his 'old' one falls to me. It's a Motorola Q9h, PDA sorta thing. QWERTY keypad. Lama sudah keluar lah, but anyway:

Hmm.. very you know, executive sort of thing. Not very..friendly as of yet. Functionality..good. Thin. Okay lah. Hehe.

So during PS this morning we were telling jokes. There was Christopher, Vivek, Zaim and myself. Not the usual crowd eh but anyways. Okay this is starting to get lame. But what am I afraid of? Uh lemme go to sleep.

{uhuh}

Hey ya so I've been around to some blogs from my friends' blogs, and a lot of Pre-U1 blogs too and it's amazing to see how careful I am when I blog. Like why do I wait till I have a good idea then I edit and re-edit it before I blog? Why do I need to make it look like something from the newspaper? Why does it have to have no mistakes? Why do I even need to correct my typos, like I'm doing now? I wanna be smth like the Pre-U1 blogs I just went to, where they rant abt their daily lives and it's sometimes really cool as to how much insight you can get into their circumstances. Like, wow, ranting about life can be so interesting and ppl will read it and come to appreciate life and look at it from another perspective, while I'm just sitting here thinking how stupid it is for me to talk abt my day. Things are gonna change man and it's abt time I dropped the poshness of my GP-standard blogging and start from sea level where I can talk abt anything and everything and it doesn't have to qualify as good because it all is good because it's my life. Now that past sentence was complex but you get the vibe right? Just blog. It's good. And it's worth it. 'Cause you'll get readers like the blogs I went to just now got readers. Now this is not abt readership but abt changing attitudes. I don't need this place but neither do I want to get rid of it completely. Let it be at my disposal as I please.

Alright the next part of my post will be an advertisement which I hope gets passed around. I'd like to find a running partner but I don't want to join a club. Most of the time I run/jog alone and sometimes with a friend, but hey, why not get a person to run with? Like on a regular basis? So here it is:

Two or three times a week, say 5km everytime. Afternoons, back at home before sunset. Any surfaces, preferably tarmac, my average is say 8km per hour, max. 14 but only for short distances below 2km. KB area?

Now looking at it this is --- but ---. Anything goes man.. Emm and I aim to increase my lung capacity.

{watch over you}

This is more or less the text for my speech this morning:

Good morning.

This is a prepared speech.

My speech today will be about integrity. I’ll talk about what integrity is and why it’s important for us to have it.

My dictionary says that “integrity” is the “quality of having strong moral principles” as well as “the concept of basing of one's actions on an internally consistent framework of principles”.

So basically if I say that I have integrity, it means that I have strong moral principles and the more integrity that I have, the more do my actions align with my set of inner values.

You know how in mathematics we call whole numbers ‘integers’? Both ‘integer’ and ‘integrity’ come from the same root – they mean wholeness, and as applied to human beings, they mean wholeness of character.

Now, why would this be important? Why, when I have the golden opportunity to speak about anything on this fine morning, would I want to give this lecture?

I admit it’s because I’m idealistic. But it’s also because if we live without integrity, it means we live without sound principles. It means we live by something other than sound principles.

Now, that’s not good. Without principles to guide us, we lose our direction. When we lose our direction, we can no longer see the thin line between what is right and what is wrong; between what is good and what is bad. Our moral compass has gone haywire. We start to do bad things.

We’ve lost direction when we lie. We’ve lost direction when we cheat. And we know we’ve lost direction when we steal.

Ladies and Gentlemen, picture integrity as a suit of armour, which when you put it on, you become a person of character. With it on, you are able to deal ethically with the tough decisions of today, be prepared for the challenges of tomorrow.

Now my challenge to you is simple. It is by far a challenge to my own self, for my mouth is closest to my own ear: put this armour on and wear it – this armour of integrity. As with real armour, it is difficult to change into. But once you’ve got it on, it will protect you. Remember that.

Before I pass the microphone back, I’d like to share a quote from our still-relevant TV show host, Oprah Winfrey. She puts a lot of things into simple terms, and this quote basically sums up my speech:

She said that “Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not.”

Thank you.

{pink linen on white paper}

My friend Zaki once said that if you have a pessimist girlfriend, don't give her perfume as a gift 'cause she'll think you gave it 'cause she smells..

{C & C}

Complacency is my enemy.
Contentment is my friend.

{with arms wide open}

Creed live with "With Arms Wide Open"
Goes a long way back...

{tomorrow}

I got hold of some bad news today so I'm feeling quite sad.

{the gimme gimmes}

A - Alpha
B - Bravo
C - Charlie
D - Delta
E - Echo
F - Foxtrot
G - Golf
H - Hotel
I - India
J - Juliet
K - Kilo
L - Lima
M - Mike
N - November
O - Oscar
P - Papa
Q - Quebec
R - Romeo
S - Sierra
T - Tango
U - Uniform
V - Victor
W - Whiskey
X - X-ray
Y - Yankee
Z - Zulu

I memorised this off 5 years ago and just typed it out from memory!

{big fat panda}

I watched Kung Fu Panda yesterday and it was brilliant! I could've blogged about it yesterday but I didn't. As you can probably see, I am running out of ideas to blog. I think it's because it's the holidays! I might blog once a week from now. Or once every couple of days. Or just when I feel like it. :D

Yeah, that's better!

{of greener pastures}

The grass is always greener on the other side... But when you finally take that step and cross over to that other side, the grass then seems greener on the side you just left.

Exactly!

{finally}

Finally, I have nothing to say today. I got a new message board though! Hehe

2nd term holidays coming up. I have some books lined up that I want to read, a few movies that I want to watch, my room to 'refurbish' (actually just tidy up =P) ... Plus I'm trying to get into a routine of everyday study/revision. I'm looking at doing Physics for 3 days in a week, then Chemistry and Maths two days each. GP I do everyday when I read the paper haha.

{a liberation broadcast}

After 4 full weeks and a day and 16 papers in all:
I am now finally done with my June AS, Midyear and June 'O' Level exams!

Alhamdulillah.

{of expectations}

I think that the answer to the question "How was your day?" is very subjective, in that the criteria for a 'good' or 'bad' day differs from one person to the other.

One person might have a full and productive day but still not be satisfied, while another person might laze around most of the day and feel that they've done a lot. I think it all depends on the individual's expectations, and whether they've fulfilled the day's expectations or not. In the case of 'things' happening to someone, it's whether that 'thing' is in their favour or not. If it is, then it's 'good luck' and it'll be a 'good day', but if otherwise, then it'll be 'bad luck' leading to a 'bad day'.

Now I'm neither Napoleon Hill nor Stephen Covey, but I think the best way to have a 'good' day is to set your expectations of the day just a little bit higher than would be comfortable. Then, during the course of the day, work hard to meet these inflated expectations. The result will be not only that you'll have a 'good', full and productive day, but you'll also grow in the process by constantly reaching for new heights and performing to levels that might have not been conceivable before.

As for having things happening to you that are seemingly out of your own control, Jack Canfield in his book "How To Get From Where You Are To Where You Want To Be" says to ask the question: "What's the opportunity in this?" to everything that comes up - basically to look at making every event play to your own advantage, whether in bringing immediate gain or success in the long run.

{viva la vida}

BOYCE AVENUE with a brilliant cover of Coldplay's fantastic new single, "Viva La Vida".

{impossible is nothing}

“Aviation is proof that given, the will, we have the capacity to achieve the impossible.”

- Edward Vernon Rickenbacker: American fighter ace, Medal of Honor recipient, race car driver, automotive designer, military consultant, and air transportation pioneer

{tagged}

1) At what age do you wish to marry?

- Hmm probably 24 or 25 something like that.

2) Where will you go if someone sponsored your ticket?

- America! Haha

3) What's your favorite thing to do?

- Reading (among other things)

4) Do you think money can buy happiness?

- No

5) If you have one dream to come true, what would it be?

- That I have everything that I want and could ever want.

6) Do you believe you can survive without money?

- Survive as in survive, yes. But not in day-to-day life.

7) What don't you like about yourself?

- Probably that I hold grudges but not as much as before.

8) What do you understand about life?

- At certain points you have to make decisions or the tide of things will make decisions for you. If so, then you won't be very happy.

9) What do you usually like to do during holiday?

- Relax, go out... play pool

10) List 3 good points of the person who tagged you?

- Honest, positive and courageous

11) List 3 idols you always want to meet.

- Dave Grohl, Pele and General Petraeus (ha ha)

12) Are you in love?

- Well yeah

13) What do you want to do when you see the person you used to love?

- Make conversation

14) In 4 words, describe yourself.

- Idealistic, pays attention to detail, optimistic, fun-loving

15. Who do you think is the most important person in your life?

- My father

16. When was the last time you had your heart broken?

- Probably 4 years ago

17. Blonde or brunette?

- Brunette

18. What music have you been listening to recently?

- Rihanna (haha)

19. What is your least favorite animal?

- The toad

20. What would you do if you are given 1 million dollar?

- Save 60% of it, invest 60% of that, and spend the rest.

INSTRUCTIONS: Remove 1 question from above and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 5 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.

(Heh heh am only tagging 3 people)

{of books}

I haven't been reading a great many books this year, but I'll tell you about a few I've read in the past couple of months that I remember of:

1) Squaddie: A Soldier's Story by Steven MacLaughlin

An interesting read, described by a certain review as being the British Jarhead, but of course with differences. This is the story of a British Army infantryman in the new millenium, as opposed to Jarhead's tale of a United States Marine Corps Scout Sniper in the first Gulf War. I'll recommend this book to anyone who would like to take a look at the life of the average modern-day British soldier. The book is the telling of his story starting with a glimpse of his childhood and why he wanted to become a soldier in the first place, and on to his tours of duty in both Iraq and Northern Ireland, and what happened there and afterwards.

2) Band of Brothers by Stephen Ambrose

I haven't seen the miniseries but I've been wanting to for quite some time. Got to read the book first though, and I guess now that it's better I did the reading before the viewing. I think the book basically tells the same story as in the series (duh!) and more, because they can only fit so much on screen. It tells the story of Easy Company, 2d Battalion, 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment (PIR), 101st Airborne Division (the famous Screaming Eagles), US Army, right from their start while undergoing training in Toccoa, Georgia, to their time in England, then D-Day, then in various battles against the Germans and finally into Germany and the end of the war. I'll recommend this to anyone with the slightest hint of interest in the military and/or WWII history.

3) A Dirty Distant War by E. M. Nathanson

My father bought this for me. Seeing that it was fiction but based around true events, I started reading it albeit reluctantly. However, after the first few pages, I was kinda gripped. The book's location and setting weren't exactly my favourite (the India-Burma-China Theater, WWII), but I appreciated the differences between that and the traditional image of WWII projected by books like Band of Brothers. The book tells the story of an US Army Major sent to China, and all the tangles the war had created in China. Not for the average reader I think, but again, anyone with an interest in WWII fiction could consider this.

4) A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking

THE popular science book. I'm convinced that anyone thinking of doing Astrophysics or Physics at undergraduate level will want (and need) to read this book. And everyone else, for that matter. I just have this feeling that everyone should read it. It offers an insight into the workings of the mind of one of the most prominent physicists of the past century. I particularly liked Hawking's playful scientific prejudices, which just go to show that even at the forefront of discovery and at the highest levels of science, humans are still human. The first couple of chapters were easy to digest but as the book progressed, the language got a bit tougher and the ideas a bit high-level. Anyhow, again, I recommend it to everyone: read it a couple of times if necessary, but at the end of it all, you'll come out enlightened. A tour de force.

{of soldiers}

In the British Army, an infantry Battalion is about 700 soldiers and is commanded by a Lieutenant Colonel as Commanding Officer (CO) with a Major as Second-in-Command (2i/c). The Battalion is made up into 5 Companies (a Headquarters Company, 3 Rifle Companies, and a Support Company). The most senior soldiers in the Battalion are the Regimental Sergeant Major (RSM) and the Regimental Quartermaster Sergeant (RQMS), holding the ranks of Warrant Officer Class 1 (WO1) and Class 2 (WO2), respectively. Battalions are numbered.

A rifle Company is then about 100 soldiers and is commanded by a Major as Officer Commanding (OC) with a Captain or Lieutenant as 2i/c. It's made up into 3 Platoons and a Company Headquarters. The most senior soldiers in the Company are the Company Sergeant Major (CSM) and the Company Quartermaster Sergeant (CQMS), holding the ranks of WO2 and Colour Sergeant (Staff Sergeant in other than the infantry) respectively. Companies are usually lettered, but sometimes they're given names instead.

A Platoon is then about 30 soldiers and is commanded by a Lieutenant or a Second Lieutenant, with the Platoon Sergeant holding the rank of Sergeant as 2i/c. It's made up into 3 Sections of 8 soldiers each, plus a Signaller, a Mortar Man, the Platoon Commander and the Platoon Sergeant.

Each Section is commanded by a Corporal, with a Lance Corporal as 2i/c. The other 6 soldiers are usually Privates or the regimental equivalent. A Section is usually again divided into two Fireteams (Charlie and Delta), Charlie being commanded by the Corporal and Delta by the Lance Corporal.

The fireteam leader will usually carry an SA80. The 3 Privates divide between themselves an LSW (a longer-barrelled version of the SA80), an SA80 with UGL (Under-slung Grenade Launcher) attached, and an FN Minimi LMG (light machine gun). In addition to that, soldiers often carry with them a LAW (light anti-armour weapon), and smoke and HE grenades.

I believe that the RBLF is modelled on the British Army: it has 3 Battalions and a Support Battalion although there's not much info on the net as of yet.

{dreaming}

These past few days I've been having multiple dreams in my sleep. Sometimes the dreams are random, but other times I guess they reflect our inner desires and the workings of the subconscious mind...

{shaving}

One of the best feelings I've felt in my life is getting a shave at the barber's on a fine Sunday morning.

{running}

I've just got back from running. Most of the time I just jog, but sometimes I run. I'm happy and satisfied every time I complete a jog or a run.

Running (or jogging) puts me at my physical limit. I know that every time I run, I'm doing my body a favour. I'm letting my heart pump blood to my extremities. I'm increasing my lung capacity. I'm clearing my head. I'm giving myself the chance to sweat. I'm working myself out.

8 weeks ago, my time for 2.4K was 12.5 min. Last week, I did it in 11 min 50 s, just 10 s under the RBAF limit (feel free to correct me). I feel I've improved over the weeks, although I know I can go a lot further.

I jog about 2-3 times a week now, and run about once a week. Most often I do about 3K, but sometimes I do 4K although I most often jog 4K, not run it.

{change}

"Di antara cabaran paling mencabar ialah kesediaan kita mengakui kelemahan yang ada, di samping tidak pula lambat untuk membuat pembaikan-pembaikan."

Excerpt from His Majesty's Titah in conjunction with National Day last year.

{sometimes}

It's interesting looking at all the paradoxes and ironies in day-to-day life. Like for example, sometimes the students with the best results are the ones putting in the least effort. Sometimes the fittest and most athletic people are smokers.

These few days I've been reflecting on something: that sometimes the people most opposed to physical aggression and 'roughness', are themselves rough and aggressive in their words and the way they treat other people.

{in the face of adversity}

I AM A MAN
IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY, NO MATTER HOW GREAT,
I WILL REMAIN CALM.
IT IS BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE
BUT EVERYTHING TO LOSE IF I LOSE MY FOCUS
SO WHAT IF MY LIFE, AND ALL THAT I LOVE
WERE ON THE LINE?
I WILL PROVE MYSELF TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY
FOR FAILURE IS NOT IN NOT SUCCEEDING
BUT IN NOT TRYING AT ALL.

IT IS NOT IN BRUTE STRENGTH THAT
A MAN PROVES HIS WORTH
IT IS IN STRENGTH OF HEART AND OF CHARACTER
AND OF SOUL
IT IS NOT IN TRYING THAT
A MAN LOSES HIS WORTH
BUT IN NOT DUSTING HIMSELF AFTER THE FALL

Written sometime early last week, on a sheet from an exam pad which explains the physical length of each line; what with handwriting as big as mine.

{everytime}

I think that the best way to hold on to something is to not hold on too tight; not to control. I read somewhere that it's just like holding on to sand; hold on too tightly and it just slips from between your fingers. But cup your hands nicely, and the sand remains. It's all about accepting other people's subtle differences. It's about not being intent on changing someone to suit your every prerogative. It's about tolerance, and getting along.

It's about being aware and conscious of how others feel, and being sensitive to the workings of their hearts. It's about selflessness. Relationships are full of happiness and joy and they last when there's acceptance of each other's temperaments, and appreciation of each other's characters as a whole.

{what is it?}

I took AS Physics last year and got an 'a' with A for each of the three components. Knowing that you can't get a better grade than that (a better mark, yes) I then decided not to sit for AS Physics (ever) again so that I can concentrate on A2 this November. Later, I found out that apparently I don't have to sit for any internal exams with Physics AS content if I want to, since I'm not going to sit for the real Physics AS again anyway. For example, this mid-year, for Physics we've got two papers (same goes for the other two science subjects): Paper 1 (AS syllabus) and Paper 2 (A2 syllabus). So the idea is to just sit for Paper 2, with my mid-year grade for Physics depending on just that paper.

The problem is, currently my Physics A2 is kinda really bad. So, sitting for Paper 1 to up my grade is tempting. What's more, Paper 1 is next week i.e. after Paper 2 which is today, and next week I only have two papers to study for. The week after I have another two papers. Basically I can sure --- tell you I have all the time that I want and need to study for Paper 1. But I've already told my tutor that I'm not gonna sit for Physics AS again. I told him I was sure, and that I was firm. But that was for the real, Cambridge exam. That was before the timetable for mid-year came out. Yes, I'm definitely sure I don't want to sit for Physics AS again in November. What I'm worried now is just the internal, mid-year school exam. I'm worried about my grade this time round. I'm thinking of going to sit for Paper 1 to help pull my grade up.

So here's my dilemma: just go and sit for Paper 2 this mid-year, and potentially suffer the consequences of a sole paper done badly. OR renege on my decision, and sit for both Papers. I think the first choice shows strength in adversity, and the willingness to work hard to achieve; while the second just shows kiasu-ness.

I know none of this is life-threatening, and it's just mid-year haha but yeah still.

{gratitude}

I am ever so grateful for the colourful life that Allah Ta'ala has let me live.

{hello...}

Ancelm said today that pain, pleasure and value are all states of mind...

Mr. Chan asked Nabeh today for advice 'cause he's got a lot of modules to finish...

I don't remember what Mr. Nyiau said...

But Mr. Gavaghan wrote "Yuk!" on my answer 'cause I said Applicant A was "nice"

{iron man}

Iron Man is an inspiring blend of bad guy/good guy, technology & doing the right thing. And action (almost forgot that).

Perfect for your Sunday or when you're convinced you've forgotten half of AS Chemistry...

{top 20}

Thought I'd put down the top 20 most played songs in my iPod Shuffle (in order):

1) ALTER BRIDGE "Watch Over You"
2) ALTER BRIDGE "Broken Wings"
3) MAYDAY PARADE "Three Cheers For Five Years"
4) ONE STAR STORY "This Game"
5) SENSES FAIL " Can't Be Saved"
6) SLIPKNOT "Vermillion, Pt. 2"
7) NE-YO "Because Of You"
8) MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE "Helena"
9) REPUBLIK "Hanya Ingin Kau Tahu"
10) ALTER BRIDGE "Down To My Last"
11) DAUGHTRY "Home"
12) JIMMY EAT WORLD "Work"
13) LEONA LEWIS "Bleeding Love"
14) NATALIE "Love You So"
15) STONE SOUR "Through Glass"
16) TRIVIUM "Dying In Your Arms"
17) ALTER BRIDGE "Open Your Eyes"
18) SECONDHAND SERENADE "Your Call"
19) SENSES FAIL "Let It Enfold You"
20) UNGU "Kekasih Gelapku"

Some to be expected; some surprising haha. There's a lot of Alter Bridge in my iPod so naturally there'd be some in the top 20 - in fact, the top 2 are Alter Bridge songs. A couple of strong Senses Fail, and some that SHOULD NOT BE THERE! (Referring to nos. 7, 9 & 20 - embarrasingly!) Nos. 6, 11 & 18 were somewhat surprisingly high on the list, and no. 15 is a recent addition but coming up strongly. I don't really listen using iTunes so you can attribute the counts to my iPod-listening. =)

{almost legal}

Today happens to be Ayyub's birthday, which makes me extremely happy.

When I look back at my recent life, one thing is clear and I’m not exaggerating when I tell you this: Just about every important thing I know about life I learned from Ayyub. You might even say he's been something of a role model. Of course role model means 'positive influence'. I love that he always inspires me to not give up, but to keep on going no matter what and achieve more, never be the last and to always be true to myself.

He's a great friend with a great mind, a sense of humor, an outgoing nature and has a tremendous amount of compassion and he brings commitment to everything he does. Always ready to listen to a problem and offer some advice. He’s also strong, fun, delightful and an achiever with a passion for physics, teaching and love for simple things in life that makes every minute on this earth count. He’s such an awesome person I tell you!!!!!

In all ways, in any way, he's really quite a guy.

Here’s to you, the one I turn to for comfort when my heart is heavy and the first one I run to when I have good news to share, I love you more than anything material. You light up my day and feed me with strength, your love and security. Through seasons and years, you've grown nearer to my heart. I would stand back to back with you against the world. Thanks for everything, I love you…

Happy 18^th Birthday!

xoxo,

nyna

{getting fit}

I really like exercising. It's because it makes me less tired at home and at school, and it keeps me keep sharp mentally. It's not so much about getting fit as in getting thinner ('cause I already am thin), but it's more of getting fit as in getting my body to stay on for longer before I get fatigued.

Currently I'm following the RAF fitness programme for potential officers (not that I'm planning to get into the RAF anyway). My typical exercise schedule (yeah, I make it kinda flexible) goes like this:

Mon: Run
Tues: Cycle/swim
Wed: Muscle endurance exercises
Thur: Rest day
Fri: Run
Sat: Same as Wed
Sun: Rest day

The muscle endurance exercises consists of tricep dips, sit-ups, press-ups, dorsal raises, and step-ups.

More often that not, I end up exercising every day for one of two reasons:
1) I want to catch-up or exercise in advance.
2) I simply just wanna do extra.

The latter one is more common, 'cause I often run and swim with a friend and so he is often very eager to exercise on my rest days, haha! But yeah I do know that rest days are essential for the body to regenerate and things like that.

{stalker! stalker!}

I was quite furious this morning: numerous times since last year, seriously or jokingly, I have been called a stalker just for knowing a bit of extra knowledge, like:

For knowing the names of my set-mates: Stalker!
For knowing what course a senior is taking at uni: Stalker!

Can you even define stalker? Bet you can't!

I think NOT knowing your set-mates' names after a YEAR is a SHAME.

{yang dimuliakan lagi dihormati pehin}

I got a reply from the State Mufti today! Yay! In February of 2006 (more than 2 years ago), I e-mailed the State Mufti's office to ask a fatwa. I thought my e-mail had gone into their junk folder or something, and mainly forgot about it until I got home today and found their letter on my desk!

Your question would be: What's a fatwa?

{standclimbfallrepeat}

Why is this place called standclimbfallrepeat?

Because that's how life is: a cycle. First you stand, then you climb, then you fall... then you do it all over again. And again. And again. And again and again and again. Notice that after the highs come the lows, and after the lows come the highs.

So, this place is about life. =)

{debacle part ii}

I quit. Then everyone quits. Then the school withdraws. End of story. My God. It wasn't supposed to be that way. They should've gone on.

(long live the ink}

I wrote this almost 4 years ago:

---

You've been a great friend
So this I wanted to send
To you, so you could know
What I think, before I go

Please spare a few minutes
And read this for me
Life, you have to live it
So open your eyes and see

Look around, and hear the sounds
Sniff the air, I have found
That in life you need a direction
You can't just switch channels like you watch television

I advise you, don't feel depressed
'Cause it'll ruin all the fun, and the fun will be less
'Cause life is a pen, we're the hand I think
Write as much as you can, long live the ink

Long live you, and I hope you are blessed
'Cause in life there are challenges, and so many tests
So cheer up, be happy, and choose the right way
I hope you reach your destination by the end of the day

How can I love someone if I don't love myself?
I cannot leave her alone by her own self
I am sorry for anything wrong I've done to you
And for all the small things that I've said just to diss you

Thank you.

---

Now, looking back at it, I wish I hadn't written that last part then. The one starting with "How can I love...". Haha

{debacle}

I decided to withdraw from the school's debate team yesterday. I then decided to confirm this with Mr. Gavaghan, debate coach, this morning. I had reasons laid out in my head should he have asked. I didn't need to use them:

The debate team (and its apprentices) had a meeting at breaktime this morning. It was then that Gav poised us all the question: To go ahead with participation in the debate competition or to just "can it", in his own words - the underlying reason being a) insufficient preparation time and b) Gav was not pleased that the debate topics came around that late (he got them only last night).

I took the opportunity to express my intention to personally withdraw, but suggested that the rest of the team go ahead with a replacement in my place. The other debaters agreed to go ahead with it. All seemed fine.

However, afterwards, two other debaters expressed to me their intention to quit as well, citing their unwillingness to miss classes - exactly my own personal reason. I believe my quitting had a direct knock-on effect on these two comrades.

With too many positions in the team vacant, and not enough people willing to fill in, and with such a time constraint, the decision was made: SMSA would pull out of this year's competition.

It's a shame, yeah, admittedly. But it was "dying with dignity", rather than dragging a rag-tag team along to MD and then being thrashed by the likes of MS and PTEB, among others. Personally it is disappointing that things had to end this way, and even more so disappointing that it all seemed to have resulted from my pulling out. I wanted more than anything for a strong team from SMSA to have participated, and hopefully someone from SMSA would be selected for Bridge and possibly World's sometime in the future.

Sigh.

{across time and space}

I've often wanted to teach for a living. Imagine being an A' Level Physics tutor...

Teaching the same things to each incoming batch of students... Reading science and current issues magazines in free time... Having coffee (and spilling it) over ruddy student homework... Trying to explain each and everything seen, heard or felt using physics... Watching Mythbusters too so that you're not outsmarted by your students?? Haha...

Not much money in it, though. But it's a nice alternative after having had a fast-paced job the first 20 years of your career.

{the long road}

It's almost time for the new Pre-U1s to start sixth-form in SMSA. Meaning that we've got one major thing left ahead: their orientation. And then after that, though still being MPPs 'til April, we've all but become normal students, doing the normal things:

Classes. Homework. Tests. And of course, exams.

It doesn't seem all too much, considering the juggling act we've been doing for most of last year and this, through AS and all. Oh, I can't wait to be a normal student again. To be just like everyone else, and standing out not by virtue of the colour of my trousers but by the content of my character. And to unburdened by all the 'other things' that the school more than loves to pass to us.

Not that we do it unwillingly, but again, the 'days in pink' have been a testing time.

{the armor of integrity}

Retired General Charles C. Krulak, former Commandant of the United States Marine Corps gave this speech at The Joint Services Conference on Professional Ethics in January of 2000:

"We study and we discuss ethical principles because it serves to strengthen and validate our own inner value system. It gives direction to what I call our moral compass. It is the understanding of ethics that becomes the foundation upon which we can deliberately commit to inviolate principles. It becomes the basis of what we are . . . of what we include in our character. Based on it, we commit to doing what is right. We expect such commitment from our leaders. But most importantly, we must demand it of ourselves.

Sound morals and ethical behavior cannot be established of created in a day, a semester … or a year. They must be institutionalized our character over time. They must become a way of life. They go beyond our individual services and beyond our ranks or positions. They cut to the heart and soul of who we are and what we are and what we must be: men and women of character.

They arm us for the challenges to come and impart to us a sense of wholeness. They unite us in the calling we now know as the profession of arms. Of all the moral and ethical guideposts that we have been brought up to recognize, the one that, for me, stands above the rest. The one that I have kept in the forefront of my mind . . . is integrity. It is my ethical and personal touchstone. Integrity, as we know it today, stands for soundness of principle and character – uprightness-honesty. Yet there is more. Integrity is also an ideal. A goal to strive for. And for a man or woman to "walk in their integrity" is to require constant discipline and usage. The word integrity itself is a martial word that comes to us from an ancient Roman army. Tradition during the time of the twelve Caesars, the Roman army would conduct morning inspections. As the inspecting Centurion would come in front of each Legionnaire, the soldier would strike with his right fist the armor breastplate that covered his heart. The armor had to be strongest there in order to protect the heart from the sword thrusts and from arrow strikes. As the soldier struck his armor, he would shout "INTEGRITAS," which in Latin means material wholeness, completeness and entirety. The inspecting Centurion would listen closely for this affirmation and also for the ring that well kept armor would give off. Satisfied that the armor was sound and that the soldier beneath it was protected, he would move on to the next man.

At about the same time, the Praetorians or imperial bodyguard were ascending into power and influence. Drawn from the best "politically correct" soldiers of the legions, they received the finest equipment and armor. They no longer had to shout "integritas" to signify that their armor was sound. Instead, as they struck their breastplate, they would shout "Hail Caesar," to signify that their heart belonged to the imperial personage – not to their unit – not to an institution – not to a code of ideals. They armored themselves to serve the cause of a single man.

A century passed and the rift between the legion and the imperial bodyguard and its excesses grew larger. To signify the difference between the two organizations, the legionnaire, upon striking his armor would no longer shout "INTEGRITAS," but instead would shout "INTEGER." Integer means undiminished-complete-perfect. It not only indicated that the armor was sound, it also indicated that the soldier wearing the armor was sound of character. He was complete in his integrity. His heart was in the right place. His standards and morals were high. He was not associated with the immoral conduct that was rapidly becoming the signature of the Praetorian Guards.

The armor of integrity continued to serve the Legion well for over four centuries. They held the line against the marauding Goths and Vandals. But by 383 AD, the social decline that infected the Republic and the Praetorian Guard had its effects upon the Legion. As a 4^th Century Roman general wrote, "When, because of negligence and laziness, parade ground drills were abandoned, the customary armor began to feel heavy since the soldiers rarely, if ever, wore it. Therefore, the first asked the Emperor to set aside the breastplates and mail. Then the helmets. So our soldiers fought the Goths without any protection for the heart and head and were often beaten by archers. Although there were many disasters, which lead to the loss of great cities, no one tried to restore the armor to the armor to the infantry. They took their armor off, and when the armor came off, so too came their integrity." It was only a matter of a few years until the legion rotted from within and was unable to hold the frontiers. The barbarians were at the gates.

Integrity. It is the combination of the words, "integritas" and "integer." It refers to the putting on of armor, of building a completeness-a wholeness-a wholeness in character. How appropriate that the word integrity is a derivative or two words describing the character of a member of the profession of arms. The military has a tradition of producing great leaders that possess the highest ethical standards and integrity. It produces men and women of character. Character that allows them to deal ethically with the challenges of today and to make conscious decisions about how they will approach tomorrow. However, as I mentioned earlier, this is not done instantly. It requires that integrity becomes a way of life. It must be woven into the fabric of our soul, just as was true in days of imperial Rome. You either walk in your integrity daily, or you take off the armor of the "integer" and leave your heart and soul exposed…open to attack.

My challenge to you is simple be often very difficult. Wear your armor of integrity. Take full measure of its weight. Find comfort in its protection. Do not become lax and always, always, remember that on one can take your integrity from you. You and only you can give it away.

The biblical book of practical ethics, better known as the book of proverbs, sums it up very nicely. "The integrity of the upright shall guide them, but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them." [Proverbs 11:3]

Thank you."

{nbasifsafbafla}

I affirm that for a student, academics comes first before anything else. We all understand that.

But it is terribly upsetting that the hard-working students who go out of their way and give time and effort in service are put down and disregarded instead of being appreciated and thanked.

{the king of spin}

Spring 2006 was when this must-see movie for all aspiring debaters was released. Thank You For Smoking shows you that you can always take something profoundly true and make everyone believe it isn't.

{breathe deep}

Sometimes, we get too caught up with the demands of today's life that we forget to really live - we don't even remember anymore why we're here in the first place.

It's only when we get a scare; when something happens, say for example someone close to ourselves falling seriously ill, or becoming disabled, that we stop and reflect on the bigger picture of life.

{mr. nyiau's quotes}

Since around July of last year, I've written down interesting things my tutors say. They're in three different notebooks, and there are more which I jot down on whatever I have handy at that time (and as a result, cannot find now). Here's just a few of the many things Mr. Nyiau, my Physics tutor, has said:

"You think you know, but actually you don't know"
- Too many times

"When you revise, don't read the answer. You have to solve the question. Otherwise, you know nothing."
- 23rd July 2007 (how to prepare for Physics tests)

"Advertisement is a form of brain-washing."
- 30th August 2007

"Respect the units."
- 3rd November 2007 (referring to units in Physics)

"It is very stupid not to make use of your intelligence to work for you."
- 8th October 2007

"Know what you have. Know what the enemy 'have'. ART OF WAR."
- 8th October 2007 (run-up to the exams - enemy is the old men of Cambridge)

"Don't answer: Couple is two people meeting under a coconut tree."
- 4th September 2007 (You learn about 'couples' in Physics, but not the 'two people' type)

"You must be very careful with the 'orang putih' English. Be very careful."
- 5th September 2007 (on writing answers)

"What you're studying is nothing new: it's history.
Physics class: History of nature
History class: History of events."
- 5th September 2007 (an effort at making Physics more appealing)

"Luck means you are prepared to grab the opportunity."
- 5th September 2007

"One fellow tell a story, 10 fellow(s) laugh."
- 6th September 2007

"Some of the answers, I look at them, my toe starts to laugh."
- 3rd November 2007 (congrats Pre-U1 Physics Sets 1,2,4!)

"They have a lot of problems. The biggest problem is they don't solve."
- 5th September 2007 (solve problems!)

"If you can solve all the questions from 1976 to 2006, guarantee you can get a 'B'."
- 5th September 2007 (promo for the 'pink' book)

"No Physics sense."
- 7th August 2007 (most of us?)

There's more I can't find where, and a whole wealth more in the hearts and minds of Mr. Nyiau's students past and present. =)

{we know you're not 25}

August 17th of last year. If you haven't watched Superbad yet, then make sure you do.

It's a tour-de-force.

Look that up! Haha