{i'll show you everything}

Michael Phelps wins his 8th gold medal of this Games and the 14th Olympic gold of his career - he's now the Olympian with the most golds in one Games as well as the most golds in a career, so far.

And what is it I've heard about a section of Jalan Tengah (road to Seria down the middle - not bypass) being closed...for 7 months? Or 9 months? Kalau org kn buat anak, beranak sudah tu.

And...I'll sort my being 'tagged' later!

{against the wall}

Usain Bolt of Jamaica wins the men's 100m final in 9.69s, a world record - and he was celebrating even before the finish line! I had just gotten home from a friend's and there it was on the telly - these guys lining up on the start line. And then go! They had started and 10s later, it was over.

{under the sunlight}

The past two weeks have kicked me into high gear. Ever since that phone call and the interview that followed shortly, I've come to realise that I lack in certain areas of study. I don't know things. I can't answer questions. I doubt myself sometimes, but other times, the encouragement of people around me make me have firm belief in myself and what I can do. I sound insecure? Maybe I am, but only recently. I used to think that I could do it all, that I could sail through everything. I still think I can manage, but it has to be done wholeheartedly. Right now my targets are, somewhat involuntarily, high. But similar to what I had written in a blog post a couple of months ago, aim high..full of heart..try to reach it..if you fail, you'll be in a place you'd never even reach if you had aimed for just enough. So that's what I'm doing. It's crazy. My fallback options are equivalent to other people's loftiest dreams. I wouldn't imagine doing this without all the support that I get. People who believe in me, who I guess saw what potential I had/have, when I don't even believe in myself. But now I do..now I do

{can i not have a title?}

So here I am, past midnight and wanting to blog. I had the opportunity tonight to watch The Dark Knight which was released half a decade ago (exaggeration). Alright, everyone's watched it. And now I can say, so have I.. Hahaha

So anyway, I had high expectations right from the start, seeing how many overwhelmingly positive reviews the movie has gotten. I remember me and my friend talking about it even last year - imagine the hype. And basically everyone has basically either said it's a great watch or it's the best superhero movie ever. The Brunei Times' movie review (which comes out once a week I guess) gave it a 9/10 - not a rating given very often. So.. naturally when you have a best friend who says it's a really good movie and your interests are both much alike, you'd think the movie would really suit you too.

So now you'd expect me to say I disagree with all of it and that the movie was bad. No, I won't say that. I'll say it was good, but not great. It came across to me just like most other movies. Gasp now. Point your index finger. How could I? I admit it's probably bad taste. I almost always go against public opinion and the movie reviews. Not to mention that I was trying to ignore my bladder for the latter half of the movie.

On the plus side, I really liked the dialogues in The Dark Knight. You could feel that there was meaning in the conversations, unlike in other movies where the characters like, talk nonsense. I think it was philosophic. And I particularly liked Alfred, and all the scenes with the high-tech stuff in it. At the end of it all, for me, I want to come away from movies feeling empowered, no matter if it was a comedy or an action film. And I guess I came away empowered today.

{1128}

Hey all.. So here I am again, telling another story of how things are today. I feel empowered all the more often these days. I think the biggest naysayer in my life is myself. Why's that? When everyone else is telling me that I can make it, that there's probably no one else who could do it better. Maybe it's because it's natural for you to doubt yourself - that's why there are so many self-help books out there that try to teach you how to think positively. Or maybe it's because I'm a pessimistic person. I've always answered "half-empty" in response to the half-glass of milk/water/whatever question. I've got people telling me that I think too much. That I worry too much. I admit that's true. It's created unneccessary stress for myself at the wrong times. But it has also served me well throughout the years. It has surfaced in the form of paying attention to detail. Well if you ask me, paying attention to detail and thinking too much come together. People who are into detail think a lot, right? But most people aren't so extreme in thinking, I think. I think about everything (most things). I go over events in my head. I visualise processes, decisions and consequences.. Okay, back to tadi: paying attention to detail has helped me get good grades. Most people just breeze over their notes. Those that don't do this tend to focus too much on one topic or the other. This is connected to study method/skill but do you get the idea? It's also connected to knowing what you should know for the exam, and all this stuff comes under a completely different subject but the idea is that when you pay attention to detail and you remember all the little bits and pieces that other people just breeze over, then you can answer those questions that require knowledge of these little bits and pieces.. You might say my theory is all made-up, well yeah, I never did any research on this so I made it up. But it feels kinda true you know. And yeah another good thing about paying attention to detail is that you've got all this trivia in your head. Like when you listen to conversations or read the paper or hear the news or watch the news then you pick up all this stuff about how whites will be a minority in America in 2040 or smth like that. Yes, I heard that on the news. Okay, it is news. It's not trivia. But just imagine it is trivia. Then you can say to yourself, hey, I know a lot of trivia about the world today and it makes you feel wealthy of knowledge even though you might never be tested for it. So this post was mainly about how I felt about something and I can hardly understand half of what I just typed. But nevermind. I feel empowered. That's the most important thing. I know I can pull through. Not pull through as in C C Cs, 'cause I'm aiming for higher. I know I can pull through with A A A a. 'Cause I've got the desire. And the discipline. And I will prevail. Insya-Allah. I will do my utmost best, and I won't worry nor will I look back. I might have been thinking and worrying too much before, but not now. I'm just focused on what's ahead. I'm doing my part. The rest is in His hands.

{hmm what you say...}

We went to public library today in KB (and yesterday as well, and the day before, and for many days now). We like going to the one in KB 'cause it's cosier and warmer and we know the staff (unlike the yellow one in Pandan). So Hadi was listening to my iPod. And he came across the song "Jangan Gila Dong" which he repeated guess how many - 8 times! We could count 'cause the volume was so loud it was like he was playing the song for the rest of us!

{hold it by the hand}

I don't feel so good, I don't know why..I hope I feel better in a bit. Maybe it's just the stress of high level things.

As for today's paper, I'm not telling anyone anything about it until all the others have taken it as well. Integrity yo.

This afternoon insyaAllah am sitting for an interview for the Sultan's Scholarship in Bandar. Pray that everything goes well for me.